Drive-By Reviewings #1

Going down the list of crap I have in the order of how the titles come up in iTunes, no preparation, just spewing out the first thing that comes to mind and keeping it to one sentence or less. Go!

The Accused - Grinning Like an Undertaker (full review here) - Thinking back to my first experience with this album, when my cousin Hayden bought it on cassette from the Camelot cut-out bin, I'm not sure what it was that led us to believe that Blaine Cook sounded like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.
The Accused - Martha Splatterhead's Maddest Stories Ever Told (full review) - This really sounds like a title they should have saved for a "greatest hits" compilation, now that I think about it.
The Accused - More Fun Than an Open Casket Funeral (review) - That is easily the best album title in the history of life.
The Accused - The Return of Martha Splatterhead (review) - And they should have saved this album title for after one of the times where they broke up and got back together.
The Accused - Splatter Rock (review) - This is an album title they should have used earlier, like maybe on their first record, instead of one of their latest, shittiest ones.
The Accused - Straight Razor (review) - Not bad, but all it really did was make me more pissed that I couldn't find a copy of "Grinning Like an Undertaker" for sale anywhere.
Adam Sandler - Stan and Judy's Kid - You know, I don't think I've ever actually listened to this all the way through.
Adam Sandler - They're All Gonna Laugh at You! - Maybe the only Adam Sandler album that I can remember more than bits and pieces of, especially to the point of memorization.
Adam Sandler - What the Hell Happened to Me? - Another mostly unmemorable one, except for the way that somehow, "Steve Polychronopolous" was somehow much better as an edited-for-TV version.
Alice in Chains - Dirt - Awesome, but these days, only serves an example of why it's just shocking that Layne Staley didn't croak himself with smack like ten years earlier.
Alice in Chains - Facelift - I can't decide whether Tommy Dreamer ruined this for me or greatly enhanced it.
Alice in Chains - Jar of Flies - "I Stay Away" is forever embedded in my skull from the uncanny way the video was always on TV immediately after I came home from school.
Alice in Chains - Music Bank (boxed set) - Mostly, just a gigantic "best of" set, but it's worth it for the pre-Facelift songs where there are still traces of glam rock visible.
Alice in Chains - Sap - I honestly can't remember anything about this, aside from the one song being in Clerks.
Alice in Chains - Unplugged - Would be worth it just for the neat-sounding drum part at the beginning of "No Excuses."
Anthrax - Among the Living - Anthrax's best album, fuk u if u disagree.
Anthrax - Live: The Island Years - Eliminating the need for dudes to hook their Anthrax home videos to their stereos to record the sound since 1994.
Anthrax - Attack of the Killer B's - Songs like "Dallabnikufesin" and "Startin' Up a Posse" serve as a reminder of why Anthrax is completely awesome and why all the "Metal is serious business to always be taken seriously" douches no longer listen to Anthrax.
Anthrax - Axedream - Neat compilation of Fistful of Metal and Spreading the Disease demos and soundboard live recordings, but I have no idea where they thought up that title.
Anthrax - Ball of Confusion - I bought this radio single on Ebay for two dollars, because I wanted to hear a Bush/Belladonna duet, but didn't want to pay 15 bucks for a bullshit compilation album.
Anthrax - Demo '82 - Dammit, I still want to know why "Hate" never made it to an actual album.
Anthrax - The Extended Versions - Nothing I love more than buying a CD for five bucks, thinking I got a bargain, then realizing that it was just Music of Mass Destruction with the cuss words edited out and a couple songs missing.
Anthrax - Fistful of Metal of Metal/Armed and Dangerous - Two great records, but if I had known Megaforce considered "ripping from older CDs at 64KB/s and adding a pause between even the songs that were supposed to run together" to be "remastering," I wouldn't have bought the piece of shit CD.
Anthrax - The Greater of Two Evils - Goddammit, a CD of Bush singing Belladonna/Turbin-era Anthrax songs was something I had wanted for years, but it should have been a proper studio album, instead of this sloppy-sounding "live in the studio" crap.
Anthrax - Hammersmith Odeon, 11-16-87 (NFV home video) - Man, the version of "Medusa" on here really is that much better than the album version.
Anthrax - I'm the Man - Man, this song suddenly got a lot less amusing once that whole Limp Bizkit thing happened.
Anthrax - Live in Boston - Someone tell me why I ever bothered downloading concerts recorded from the audience again?
Anthrax - Live in Dallas, 1989 - Oh boy, recorded from the sound board, but the sound has been filtered through someone's ass, ruining the otherwise awesome cover of "Living After Midnight," among other stuff.
Anthrax - Live in Milan, 1992 - Decent bootleg, but ruined by mp3 compression, argh.
Anthrax - Live in Montreal 1993 - Actually doesn't sound bad, for a crowd recording.
Anthrax - Live in San Francisco - Joy, crowd recording.
Anthrax - London 1987 - Sounds like an awesome bootleg, but one that was ripped from a ninetieth-generation cassette.
Anthrax - Music of Mass Destruction - Nice live album, but I'm still pissed that I accidentally bought it twice.
Anthrax - Persistence of Time - The second-best Anthrax album, which makes it better than pretty much anything else, ever.
Anthrax - The Sound of White Noise - One one hand, the album where Anthrax finally made a bunch of money for being awesome, but on the other hand, that probably was what led to Benante becoming such a bitch.

Okay, I'm going to bed now. More at a later date.