Judas Priest - Turbo

(CBS Records, 1986)
Hoo boy. Things start out ugly on this one, with "Turbo Lover" sounding like some 80s techno thing that's as disturbingly catchy as it is not very good. And that pretty much sums up this album. It sucks and gets stuck in your head, creating the sucky gift that keeps on fucking giving. Seriously, I love Judas Priest and all, but for the most part this blows. I'm not sure if there was label pressure to have a hit song or if it was all "OMG SELLOUT JP SUXORS," but this whole album seems to wobble back and forth between weak synth-pop and the worst kind of glammy arena rock that you would totally beat the crap out of if you could somehow make it manifest itself in human form. This is like what Dokken would be like if they had keyboards and Rob Halford, who totally wouldn't be able to offset the stupid keyboards. And it doesn't help matters much for the album cover to apparently depict someone gripping what appears to be some sort of peppermint wang. I guess it just goes to show you...



Track Listing:
1. Turbo Lover
2. Locked In
3. Private Property
4. Parental Guidance
5. Rock You Around the World
6. Out in the Cold
7. Wild Nights, Hot & Crazy Days
8. Hot for Love
9. Reckless
(And I'm assuming modern versions have bonus tracks)

Blood for Blood - Serenity

(2004, Thorp Records)
It's kind of funny. In the world of hardcore punk, the usual standard operating procedure seems to be for bands to put out albums of 15+ two-minute-or-less songs at a pace of about one every couple years. Yet somehow, Blood for Blood has only managed two full-length releases in over a decade. Well, the bad news is that this is another EP, totaling nine tracks, with the first just being a few seconds of talking, and the second and final tracks being almost identical filler intro/outro things, leaving you with about fourteen minutes of worthwhile new material. The good news is that this might be the best thing Blood for Blood ever put out. It's a little lighter and more laid-back than previous stuff, but that's not to say this isn't still heavy and pissed-off, it's just heavy and pissed-off in different ways. There's a little more street punk and old-fashioned rocking going on here, and it works well to separate them from all the other guys out there yelling and pretending to not be heavy metal bands. Lyrically, this is similar to older Blood for Blood, with the key word being bleak. Urban blight, ("Hanging on the Corner") suicide, ("My Jesus Mercy") drug addiction, ("City Boy") and the fact that their musical genre hopelessly sucks ("Live the Lie") are all explored here, and you get the feeling these aren't happy dudes. Another departure here is that White Trash Rob (the higher-pitched, kinda nasally, incredibly Boston-sounding guy) seems to handle the bulk of the vocal duties, with Buddha (deep, growly, not quite as Boston-sounding fat guy) doing more backing vocals, which is weird, because the when one guy plays an instrument and the other just sings, it's usually the other way around. But hey, whatever works, and it works really well. And somewhere along the line, they manage to throw a cover of Del Shannon's 1961 hit "Runaway" into the mix, which when done in Blood for Blood's own style, somehow manages to to sound natural next to everything else on here. If there's any problem I could have with this, it's that I wish there were like ten more songs worth of it. And hey, if you're not a downloading cheapskate, you get neat Enhanced CD stuff, too, which includes a "making of" video, outtakes from said video, a photo gallery, a dedication to Steven Caruso, (the guy that "My Jesus Mercy" is about) and instrumental demo versions of most of the tracks on the album. Overall, this rules.

Track Listing:

1. A Prayer to the Night Sky
2. Serenity
3. Hanging on the Corner
4. Live the Lie
5. A Rock N' Roll Song
6. My Jesus Mercy
7. Runaway
8. City Boy
9. Serenity (Reprise)

Judas Priest - British Steel

(1980, Epic Records)

Oh man. This will probably be the most in-depth Judas Priest review I do, since this is the one I've owned the longest, listened to the most, and probably think is the most awesome. I mean seriously, if you've ever been in a car, listening to "Breaking the Law" on a dubbed cassette and you DIDN'T stop whatever you were doing to sing along with the chorus, you can't be my friend, and I am being serious. And it doesn't let up from there. Well, maybe a little, but "Rapid Fire" is awesome. And then, there's "Metal Gods," and they could probably sue the guy who wrote The Terminator for stealing their song to make a movie out of, and "Grinder" is really good if you can resist giggling at lines like "no more straight and narrow" and "looking for meat," now that you know Rob Halford likes dudes. And United is kind of cheesy, but it sounds like something that should be played over the closing credits of some stereotypical 80s movie, and that's never a bad thing. And "Living After Midnight," which is the song they put on the greatest hits stuff most of all, shows us once again that absolutely no one - NO ONE - does the "let's all go out and rock and roll party, yeah" song better than Judas Priest. And after that, it kind of drags for the last three songs, but those are still quite listenable, and most people's albums hit the wall after like four tracks, so shut up, Judas Priest rules. You require this CD, record, or tape immediately.

Track Listing:

1. Breaking the Law
2. Rapid Fire
3. Metal Gods
4. Grinder
5. United
6. Living After Midnight
7. You Don't Have to Be Old to Be Wise
8. The Rage
9. Steeler
(And if you buy it these days, there's a bonus track or two. Hey.)