Jucifer - War Bird

(2004, Velocette Records)
If I had any intention of making this blog thing the least bit relevant to the times, I'd be reviewing If Thine Enemy Hunger, which is the full-length album these guys put out that got a bunch of good reviews and everything last year. But you see, if I'm going to buy a CD by someone not established as someone where I already know for sure what I'm getting into, it has to either be used, an EP, or some other conditions must exist to make it cost five bucks or less. So here's an EP from 2004 that I got used for $4.99.
But anyway, the crazy thing about this band is that it's barely even a band. It's just two people, one chick singing and playing a guitar, and a dude playing drums. That's it. I think there's an overdubbed bassline in a song, but otherwise, just two folks. That's crazy. But anyway, for a one sentence description of this EP, this is basically the kind of stuff people used to listen to while doing heroin in the early-to-mid nineties. Like Jucifer could have gone on tour with Helmet back when Helmet was still worth a crap, Nirvana back before Nirvana was selling out arenas and blowing their own heads off, or maybe the Melvins back before the Melvins did whatever it was that they do these days. Hella-distorted, fuzzy guitars drone along while G. Amber Valentine sings in this really soft, sweet voice and Ed Livengood hammers the shit out of the drums, occasionally resulting in something that's way heavier than any band that's just two people with one of them singing really softly has any right to be.
The two biggest highlights here are probably "Ides of Light," the nearly six-minute EP-opener that's a slow, churning, number where the contrast of soft, ballady vocals over a guitar that sounds de-tuned to the point where the strings hung loose creates an almost menacing sound and "Haute Couture," which is mostly sung in French, and is probably the most upbeat, normal people-friendly song on here. Finishing things off is the giant change-of-pace in the form of "My Stars," that's a banjo-based old-school protest song about growing up in 'Merica and is way better-written than the average "OMG CORPORATIONS WTF" songs that most hack bands who actually make a living off songs like that tend to write.
On a goofy side note, while this is a six-song EP, it still manages to clock in at over an hour. The reason? The last track on the album is like 45 minutes of what sounds like someone just leaving a microphone out in a heavily insect-infested back yard for a while. What the hell.
Overall, this is good, bordering on brilliant at times, but it's probably not for everybody. If you like your heavy-type music to be of the fast, aggressive variety, you might want to think twice about this one. On the other hand, if you're into slow, grindy stuff that sounds like some huge thing rolling up real slow-like to crush you and your house, look no further. Or if you like banjo protest songs and long tracks of bug noises. Or maybe if you're from the early 90s, and the smack hasn't killed you yet. Whatever floats your boat, kid.

Track Listing:
1. Ides of Light
2. Day Breaks on the Field of Battle
3. Seth
4. Haute Couture
5. The Shape of Texas
6. My Stars
7. (untitled, unlisted track)

Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death

(Sanctuary Records, 2006)

This was the first time I had high hopes (or honestly, any hopes whatsoever) for an Iron Maiden album in a long time. Their previous one (Dance of Death) actually had a few decent moments, there was a lot of "hey, it's their big return to form" hype surrounding this one, and while it wasn't done by Derek Riggs, they actually got Iron Maiden level cover art for this one. (Even though the little logo that's all over this album with Eddie's head and the two rifles crossed is incorrect, since I've never seen an M-16 with the clip toward the end of the barrel...) I know better than to buy into "comeback album" hype, though, after St. Anger and the last four or five "comeback albums" Megadeth has pooped out, and if cool cover art made an album any good, I'd actually listen to more than two of those Slayer CDs collecting dust over there, so I remained cautiously optimistic.
And well... They almost had a really good album here. On some level, there's probably not an outright bad song on here, maybe even a few classics, but it's as though the writing process involved a lot of, "hey, that song we just finished is really great, but imagine how great it would be if it was TWICE AS LONG?" Of the ten tracks here, six clock in at over seven minutes, with two of those going over nine. And while Maiden has showed an aptitude for that kind of thing in the past, (I'm still amazed they could keep my interest for thirteen on "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" back in the day) they fall into a very Metallica-like habit here of repetition and bridge/chorus parts that would last as long as an entire song for a hardcore band. After a while, this can suck the life out of even a really good song, and for all I know, there could be the ultimate Iron Maiden classic song toward the end of this, but by that point, everything has started to run together, to the point where I've just kind of tuned it out as background noise. Not helping matters is the overuse of the exact same "Bruce singing softly over quiet guitars" intro on half the songs here. I'm with them through the first five songs (which are all really good, for the record) but the second half just completely falls flat. (And that includes the plodding "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg," which might be the most questionable choice of a first single/video that I've ever seen a band make. "Different World" was RIGHT THERE, man.)
And while we're nitpicking for things to complain about, the usual "co-produced by Steve Harris" thing is way too evident here. This is a band with three lead guitar players, but they're buried so far in the mix under the bass that it sounds like they don't even have two. Also, Bruce Dickinson's vocals, while still better than basically anyone else ever, sound weak as hell by his standards here, almost wheezy at points.
In conclusion, with a little less self-indulgence and a little more restraint, this could have been up there with Powerslave and Somewhere in Time, but they just didn't know when to quit. Still, while it's not the "OMG COMEBACK ALBUM!!!" that was marketed to us, I probably have been a little harsh here, since even with all its flaws, it's still not bad, and if I still made mixed tapes, there would still be maybe four or five songs which could possibly qualify to be put on one. Not bad, but not the legendary album they built it up to be.
Oh, and if you're not so cheap that you can't spend an extra three bucks or so, you get a DVD, too. (And at least a Best Buy, the DVD version is actually cheaper than the regular one) It's got a kinda cool thirty-minute "Making Of" documentary, with a rundown of what each song is about and what the process was to make it, along with a photo gallery and videos for "Different World" and "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg." Nothing to make up your mind on buying it, if you were on the fence, but still a fun way to blow 45 minutes or so.

Track Listing:

1. Different World
2. These Colours Don't Run
3. Brighter Than a Thousand Suns
4. The Pilgrim
5. The Longest Day
6. Out of the Shadows
7. The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg
8. For the Greater Good of God
9. Lord of Light
10. The Legacy