The Accüsed - Splatter Rock

(Nastymix Records, 1992)
The first thing that sticks out on this is that there's something wrong with the vocals on about half the album. I mean, there's always been something wrong with the vocals, but this time, they're wrong in a bad way. Like it's this high-pitched squeal that reminds me of Starscream or something. Man, I don't like that, either. At the point where I'm totally not liking this album, "Greenwood House of Medicine" comes on, and is like two minutes of just a drumbeat, some squeaky crap, and a bunch of samples, and I am starting to reeeeally not like this. "She's Back" has a pretty cool riff, and the cover of "Green Eyed Lady" is fun, but yeah, overall, I could do without this one.

Track Listing:

1. Two Hours Till Sunrise
2. Stick in a Hole
3. No Choice
4. Lettin' Go
5. Blind Hate / Blind Rage
6. Greenwood House of Medicine / Don't You Have a Woman
7. She's Back
8. Tearin' Me Apart
9. Green Eyed Lady
10. Brutality and Corruption
11. Living, Dying, Living in a Zombie World

The Accüsed - Straight Razor

(Nastymix Records, 1991)
Okay, almost done with the Accused reviews. I might have to come up with a new, more random way of doing things here, because when I get to someone like Anthrax or Megadeth that I have thirty zillion CDs of, things might get a bit tedious. Anyway, this one's going to be a lot quicker, because it's an E.P. Here, you have two songs and a live version of a third song from Grinning Like an Undertaker, (and this includes two of the very best songs from that album, for the record) one song that's on the next album, Splatter Rock, that I'll get to soon, and only three real, exclusive tracks found here. Two basically sound like songs from Grinning..., with the title track being particularly good, and the third is a way sped-up cover of "Saturday Night Special" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, that's everything we've come to except from random covers by The Accused. So yeah. Nothing too new or exciting, but it's pretty good.

Track Listing:
1. No Hope for Relief / Close Insight
2. The Corpse Walks
3. Straight Razor (Going for the Throat)
4. Down & Out
5. Saturday Night Special
6. Blind Hate / Blind Rage
7. Voices (Live)

The Accüsed - Grinning Like an Undertaker

(Nastymix Records, 1990)
Whoa, whoa whoa! They're on Nastymix Records? Nastymix!? Sir Mix-a-Lot's Label? What? Cosmo says you're fat, but he's not down with that! Not to worry, because the Accused haven't taken all that to heart and started doing songs about feeding women buttermilk biscuits until they have big, luscious asses. Zombies and blood and guts and stuff are still the order of the day, and if the music's changed any, it's actually heavier this time around. At this point, they're not afraid to slow things down from time to time and create a bit of atmosphere, which works wonders for songs like "Voices" and "The Corpse Walks." Things get weird, and probably not in a good way, in the awkward funk-laden rap track "Down & Out," which is still kind of neat, as it has the Accused successfully trying to do something resembling "getting funky." That hiccup aside, this is probably their best album. A lot more effort seemed to go into writing coherent songs, and it's a lot more memorable from start to finish.

Track Listing:
1. Pounding Nails (Into the Lid of Your Coffin)
2. Bullet-Ridden Bodies
3. The Corpse Walks
4. Grinning (Like an Undertaker)
5. Down & Out (Featuring the Mad Poet)
6. Cut & Dried
7. Dropping Like Flies
8. M is for Martha
9. Room 144 (Instrumental)
10. When I Was a Child
11. The Night
12. Voices
13. Boris the Spider
14. Tapping the Vein

The Accüsed - Martha Splatterhead's Maddest Stories Ever Told

(Combat Records, 1988)
Whoa. While the musical tightness and hints of actual song progression from More Fun Than an Open Casket Funeral are still there, the total superfast craziness of earlier stuff makes a lot of appearances here, mainly in the vocals, which sound less like the Tasmanian Devil on meth than maybe the Tasmanian Devil accidentally setting himself on fire while smoking crack. Yeah. Craziest of all might be their cover of "I'd Love to Change the World," which alternates between faithful-to-the-original acoustic parts sandwiched between speed metal parts with Blaine Cook screaming his ass off like he's got fire ants in his drawers or something the whole time. Things seem to calm down later in the album, and it's becoming apparent that they're putting a lot more imagination into the music than just "play fast and scream" at this point. Which isn't to say they don't play fast and scream most of the time; they're just finding bigger and better ways to get there. Or something. Then, all of a sudden, "Lights Out" barely even sounds like the Accused. It's more of a punk track, and the singing is done cleanly, in a way that makes me think it's not even the same guy. And to seal the deal, we get an acapella version of one of those goofy gross songs they would make you sing at summer camp or something. ("The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, in your stomach and out your mouth") That was weird.

Track Listing:
1. Psychomania
2. The Bag Lady Song
3. Inherit the Earth
4. Deception
5. Molly's X-Mas
6. I'd Love to Change the World
7. You Only Die Once
8. Sick Boy
9. Chicago
10. Starved to Death
11. War=Death
12. The Maddest Story Ever Told
13. Intro
14. Scared of the Dark
15. Losing Your Mind
16. Smothered Her Trust
17. Lights Out
18. The Hearse

The Accüsed - More Fun Than an Open Casket Funeral

(1987, Combat Records)
This time, the production values are a lot better, (Hey, Combat wasn't a major label, but they weren't chopped liver, either. I mean, they had freaking Megadeth.) and fittingly, the music seems to be a bit tighter and in-control this time around. That's not to say it's not still crazy and out-of-control, but the band's punk roots aren't as prevalent, and there's a little more complexity than the nonstop thrash-fest that Martha Splatterhead was. Also of note here is that the Accused's habit of doing covers of random, decidedly non-metal songs starts here, with Cliff Richard's "Devil Woman" making an appearance. This probably isn't as good overall as the album before it, but the Accused are two-for-two so far.
Track Listing:
1. Halo of Flies (The Deadly Blessing)
2. W.C.A.L.T. (We Can All Live Together)
3. Rape (Not a Love Song)
4. Lifeless Zone
5. Scotty
6. Devil Woman
7. Bethany Home (A Place to Die)
8. Mechanized Death (I Love to Drive)
9. S.H.C.
10. Judgment Day
11. Take No Prisoners (No One Left Alive)
12. Splatter Rock
13. Septi-Child
14. I'll Be Glad When You're Dead

The Accüsed - The Return of Martha Splatterhead

(Subcore Records - 1986)
Hey, this is more like it. If you've never heard the Accused before, you're missing some crazy crap. You've also got at least one thing in common with probably 98% of the population or so too, so you've got plenty going for you at this stage in the game. But I digress. Basically take thrash metal, mix some punk in there somewhere, speed it up, make it go totally crazy, and add a dude that totally sounds like a somewhat higher-pitched Tasmanian Devil. (You know, from the cartoons, not the actual animal, you dolts.) Then, feed the Tasmanian Devil guy meth until he starts seeing things. Bad things. This is what the Accused call "Splatter Rock." And it is good. I should mention that the production value kind of sucks, (and judging by the hisses and pops on my illegally downloaded copy, I'm not sure if it was ever released on CD) but a band as crazy as this almost seems to use something like that to their advantage. Horror movies with slick, high-budget production values tend to suck compared to the low-dollar ones, so why should a musical horror movie be any different?
Track Listing:
1. Martha Splatterhead
2. Wrong Side of the Grave
3. Take My Time
4. Distractions
5. Buried Alive
6. Show No Mercy
7. Slow Death
8. Autopsy
9. She's a Killer
10. In Death's Bed
11. Lonely Place
12. Fucking 4 Bucks
13. Martha's Revenge